Community Life


Two days ago Max, Lucija (new volunteers), Edem and me cooked our own dinner – rice with palavasauce. That was a long and interesting process.

At 5pm we left the office and headed the market. We bought tomatoes, onion, cotombre, eggs, palm oil and rice. On our way home Edem met a friend of him which happens to be his friend. He said he would drive us home. On the way home this police man said “one for the road” – we ended up in a drinking spot drinking whiskey!

When we got there I thought to myself “a police man drinking while driving… that’s not exactly what should happen”, but then I realized that he didn’t drink so I was relieved.

He paid for everyone’s drinks which is something very normal here: the most “powerful” person usually pays for everyone because “you never know what tomorrow might bring and maybe tomorrow you’ll need someone to back you up”. That’s the same for dinners. When people have dinner together there is usually one person who pays for everyone because “what if one person finishes dinner and then realizes that he has no money to pay for?”

When we finished drinking the police man threw the whiskey that was left on the glasses away. That means he is a traditional person who believes in spirits. He did so to give a bit of whiskey to the spirits because you “don´t want to piss them off” – they need to be kept satisfied or something bad might happen to you.

When we arrived home Edem said the police man hadn´t drunk because he was already tipsy. I guess I was wrong…

We left the ingredients at home and Edem said “ladies, stay here and we, the men, will get the stove and the char coals! Ahahah” – that meant they were actually going to get it but they were also having another whiskey! That’s how it works: most men spend the evenings at the drinking spots having whiskey.

When the men were back we started cooking – three hours after we started our cooking activity! Then we realized that we needed salt so Edem said again “we, the men, will get salt! Ahahah” – I guess it’s easy to understand the meaning behind it.

While cooking we were all impressed about how Edem was moving the pot from one place to the other as well as the glowing char coals with his hands! He says that we just need to “switch off our mind” and it will be fine. I tried it: it was really warm but I managed to hold the pot only with my hands for some seconds! He says that’s how people cook in communities. Women move big pots from one side to the other as if they were cold and when men need to start the fire they walk to the closest house which has someone cooking and bring one piece of glowing char coal in their own hands so that they can start their own.

It was 9h30pm when we started eating. We all ate from the same plate with our hands, just like most of the people do it here. Since very young kids learn how to live in a community and soon they learn the values of sharing and baking up the one next to them – when they eat all from the same plate they learn to share their food.




07/09/2012

Private kids vs. public kids


I’m working on a pilot project to prevent child sexual abuse. Sex is a very strong taboo and people don´t usually talk about it. That’s why in this pilot kids and moms are involved and they are supposed to work together in a way that they have to talk to each other about it.

A workbook with exercises is given to the kids and the moms. They start by learning what are rules and why they exist, acknowledge feelings and understand what means to be sad, happy, angry and confused, and finally they learn about their private body parts. Then they learn the touching rules that say that “it is never all right for someone to touch your private body parts except to keep you clean”.

My job is to schedule meetings with the kids and the moms (one family at a time) to work on the workbook with them and make the mom and the kid talk to each other.

One of the kids I worked with, Kelvin, is very enthusiastic about the book. He is 7 years old and his body constitution actually corresponds to a 7 year old kid; his mom is a tailor and his aunt is a teacher. His mom speaks fluent English and Kelvin can also understand most of the things written in the workbook which means I don´t need to bring Edem with me to translate the book or what I say to them. Whenever we are working in the workbook Kelvin immediately answers the questions and makes the exercises, whether it’s a drawing or a topic to talk about with his mom.  Both of them can comfortably talk about it and he was the first one finishing the workbook.

Blaise is another kid participating. He is 9 years old but his body constitution corresponds to a 6 years old kid. His mom is also a tailor but she barely speaks English which means Edem has to come with me to translate. Even though he is 9 years old and he is supposed to know how to write and read English he can´t do it. I was there for 45 min trying to make him answer some questions that were part of the workbook exercise and he didn´t say more than 10 words during the whole time.

The difference between them? Kelvin is a “private school kid” and Blaise is a “public school kid”.

This is the school Balise attends:




05/09/2012

Water

When we go to some place where we don´t feel totally comfortable – when we’re invited to someone’s house for the first time or when we go to a meeting – and we are offered something like coffee, water or tea we tend to say “no, I’m fine thanks”. That’s what’s considered polite once we’re totally comfortable with the person. In Ghana, it works the other way around.

When we go to someone’s house here the first thing that happens is that we are offered water and we should not refuse it. Accepting it means that the topic that brings us there is a “cold topic” – it’s not bad news or something serious. If we don´t accept it then that’s because we’re bringing a “hot topic/news”.

If we don’t accept the water that is offered then we won´t get anything from that people – whatever we ask for; whatever information we want we won´t be given.


04/09/2012

Tomorrow never comes


“We live only one day: that’s today. Do you know why? Because tomorrow never comes. By the time it comes it’s today. Some people wanted to name the days so they made Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. Then they numbered the days and then created the months. Lastly, the years. But in the end it all comes up to one: one week, one month, one year, one decade, one day. So we live day by day; we live the moment.

Don´t you think I would work by plans if I was in your country? Of course I would. But not here. The system is not built for it. So I just enjoy the “now”; today!”

Edem Blaise


02/09/2012

Filhos do Coração


Two days ago a friend of mine asked me if I had heard of children slavery here in Ghana. My innocent answer was “well, it’s pretty clear that every kid works since a very young age. I’m not sure if that’s what you’re talking about”. How fool of me.

She explained me that there is a Portuguese journalist who has been telling this story to the world for some years now. Apparently in the Volta Lake, the biggest artificial lake in the world, there are moms who are selling their children to fishermen to work for them.

This journalist founded an NGO who buys the kids to the fishermen and provides them proper accommodation and pays them the next 10 years of education.

I opened their website. I read it. I cried.

I have been there. Just like any other futile tourist I went on a boat trip in the lake to see how “beautiful” it is. I just didn´t see how ugly is what’s behind it.

I have been there and I didn´t see it. It’s not like as if I was back home reading it on a website and being thousands of kilometers away. I have been there, so close, and I didn´t notice it.

I know, how could I notice it? It’s not something we just see. But still… it made me feel futile and useless.


02/09/2012

Boredom. Or not.


People say that doing volunteering work in developing countries changes you. I can´t say I’ve changed (at least not yet). But can certainly say that I’ve became much more aware of who I am - and that’s because of “The Holy Trinity of Inactivity”.
I have to admit that the reason why I started reading it in the first place was because I couldn´t understand how the idea presented in the title could be true! Even while I was going through the article I thought that it was a non-sense idea. Until I got to the last paragraph:
We can't be inactive all the time, but it's a task we're losing touch with. Like all things, it's about balance, but the next time you're sitting at the bus stop, consider leaving your phone in your pocket. Take a walk without those headphones now and again. Procrastinate on your decisions for a couple of days. A lot of things in life happen at warp speed and you can't do anything about it, but a few moments each day can help you better understand the world.
That’s when I had my “wow” moment: that is so absolutely true!
In the past 7 weeks I’ve leant more about myself and about what I want for my future than I have in the past few years. And that’s because I’ve been forced to be bored. Not bored with the connotation that we are used to use; not bored in the sense that “I want to go home because there is nothing going on here”. “Bored” here means that my mind is not focused and occupied with something like it usually is.
The interesting is that even when forced to be “bored” I try to escape from it. I have no books left to read so when I have internet I open several tabs with articles, copy them to a word document so that I can read when I’m “bored” without internet.
But then it happens that sometimes there is no electricity! I look around and there is nothing to do. So I simply walk around or just lay in my bed. That’s when I’m definitely forced to be “bored” - thoughts pop up like pop corns and I reach conclusions about things that I’ve been thinking for years.
We want to know so much about the others and about the world but so little about ourselves – how much time do we spend reading the news, watching TV and reading articles, and how much time do we spend thinking about ourselves?
It’s because I’ve been bored that I’ve became more aware of myself – I’ve been forced to give myself time to think about me.

01/08/2012